Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Common Ideas from http://samrocs0212.blogspot.com/
So, the last time we met in class we were asked to write a narrative of one of three characters from "How to Tell a True War Story." I chose to wrtie from the perpsective of Lemon's sister, as did some of the people who read aloud in class. After hearing the stories they wrote, I thought it was probably horrible that I thought that Lemon was a huge idiot. Now, I don't feel so bad because it seems that Samantha has the same views that I did, wonderful, check it out.
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Hi Nicole this is actually a response to the short story you did in class today. I'm really sorry that I wasn't able to give you my reponse today and feel absolutly terrible about doing that. i was busy of over the last two days and didn't realise our responses were due on thursday. non the less i should have given you the same respect that you gave me. here is my review.
ReplyDeleteI could really feel what your character was going through when reading this story. your ability to make a twenty two year old man feel the frustration of being a pregnant nineteen year old shows how good of a writer you really are. I enjoy your pacing of the story as well. i liked that you don't concentrate on sorroundings to much since it would draw focus away from the truamatic events that have befallen Julia. the Nurse in the pro life family planning office was perfect. i have met some of these "every child is a gift regardless of how many dreams they destroy" people and you hit the nail right on the head. i liked her joy in showing Julia the picture of herself when she had a kid though she looks absolutely miserable. speaking of which that was my favorite line in the story: "A young girl is draped in white, skin glistening, eyes tormented with exhaustion as a crying baby sits in her arms". this line truly painted the possible fate for Julia quite exquisitly. the mother's reaction to Julia's confession of being pregnant kinda confused me. i understand that every kid can lie to their parents and make them believe them however i would expect a different reaction from a mother who is already suspicious of one of her daughters being pregnant. was the mother perhaps in denial that such a thing could happen to her brightest child and that's why she is laughing about it. Julia just seemed to serious about her confession for her mom to just laugh it off, but that's just my opinion. I liked your story a lot and felt it takes a different approach to the ho-hum "oh shit im a pregnant teen" story that we have all heard before. careful not to fall into any of the plot cliches that these stories follow. i think you have a very interesting point of view and your character is much more mature than the average pregnant teen which makes me feel that she could easily go all three ways in how she will deal with her incoming child. Cool story, and some absolutly great lines.